A pet show at the mall got out of control, and five cats escaped their owners while three dogs ran away, and their owners chased them and caught them.

What is the best way to revise the sentence to eliminate wordiness and keep the same meaning?

A pet show at the mall got out of control. Five cats and three dogs ran away, and their owners chased them and caught them.

During a pet show at the mall, five cats and three dogs ran away, but the owners quickly caught them.

The mall had a pet show. It was a disaster.

Pet owners at a mall pet show lost control of their animals.

Question

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Guest

23 October, 16:40

A pet show at the mall got out of control, and five cats escaped their owners while three dogs ran away, and their owners chased them and caught them.

What is the best way to revise the sentence to eliminate wordiness and keep the same meaning?

A pet show at the mall got out of control. Five cats and three dogs ran away, and their owners chased them and caught them.

During a pet show at the mall, five cats and three dogs ran away, but the owners quickly caught them.

The mall had a pet show. It was a disaster.

Pet owners at a mall pet show lost control of their animals.

+2

Answers (1)

Know the Answer?

Kennedi Cantrell · Answer 1

The last two options don't contain the same amount of information. You don't know how many pets ran away or how many were caught again. So you can eliminate those two options right away.

So, you are choosing between the first 2. The first option is wordy. You can see that they repeat the word "them" twice in the last sentence, which is unnecessary.

The 2nd option manages to convey the same amount of information as the original sentence, but in one sentence and without unnecessary repetition of words.