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26 August, 16:04

How can the sentences in this paragraph be improved?

Over the past decade, most production houses have released approximately 30 features per year and have averaged 8 films in the summer and winter holiday seasons when attendance is higher than at other times of the year and filmmakers make most of their profits.

Garvin Productions now proposes to change this pattern and take what amounts to a large gamble by concentrating almost entirely on the summer blockbuster season, when they propose to release over 15 films in each of the next two years.

1. Break up sentences to vary sentence length.

2. Rewrite to place new information at the ends of the sentences.

3. There is nothing wrong with the sentences in the paragraph.

4. Rewrite to place contextual information at the beginnings of sentences.

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Answers (1)
  1. 26 August, 18:14
    0
    1). Break up sentences to vary sentence length.

    Explanation:

    The given paragraph employs excessively longer yet complex sentences that leads to create a monotony that affects the comprehensiveness and legibility of the message. Therefore, this error in the sentences could be improved by 'Breaking up sentences to vary sentence length' as breaking them will not only reduce the complexity but also makes the sentences more crispy that would convey the thoughts more clearly and comprehensively. For example;

    'Over the past decade, most of the production houses have released approximately 30 features per year.'

    'They have averaged 8 films in the summer and winter holiday seasons.'

    Thus, the readers would be able to understand it more conveniently and effectively. Therefore, option 1 is the correct answer.
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