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3 February, 09:12

Read the following short paragraph. This paragraph is full of short, choppy sentences. Use your knowledge of sentence variety and prepositional phrases to improve the paragraph. Include all of the details in your revised version.

The clouds seemed to loom over the field. The field was near my house. A drop of rain fell on the infield dirt. The umpire looked into the sky. The sky opened up. A downpour of rain scattered everyone. People ran into the concession stand. Other people ran to their cars in the parking lot. The parking lot was behind the outfield.

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  1. 3 February, 09:20
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    The clouds seemed to loom over the field near my house. A drop of rain fell on the infield dirt as the umpire looked into the sky before it opened up. Then, a downpour of rain scattered everyone and people ran into the concession stand, while others ran into their cars in the parking lot behind the outfeild.
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