What does twain say he would have done had he seen the dying Caesar? At what fault of reporters is he poking fun?

Mark Twain states in "The Killing of Julius Caesar ‘Localized’ " that he regrets not being present in the days of ancient Rome at the time Julius Caesar was killed. He afterward adds that if he saw Caesar at the verge of death he’d take his statement regarding the events, so he could print them in the morning paper: " ... in time to say persuasively to the dying Caesar, "Oh! come now, you an't so far gone, you know, but what you could stir yourself up a little and tell a fellow just how this thing happened, if you was a mind to, couldn't you? - - now do!" and get the "straight of it" from his own lips, and be envied by the morning paper hounds!"

In this article, Mark Twain pokes on the vanity of reporters and their desire to stand out and be the only ones with the "dreadful intelligence". He states that nothing affords as much satisfaction to reporters as the bloody and mysterious murder: "Nothing in the world affords a newspaper reporter so much satisfaction as gathering up the details of a bloody and mysterious murder, and writing them up with aggravated circumstantiality. He takes a living delight in this labor of love - - for such it is to him - - especially if he knows that all the other papers have gone to press, and his will be the only one that will contain the dreadful intelligence."